(display: "main") (set: $coins to 10) (set: $days to 1) (set: $hp to 10) (set: $shrub_hp to 10000) (set: $shrub_number to 40) (set: $streak to 0) (set: $combine to (datamap: "id", "a combine harvester", "cost", 10000, "damage", 5, "next", 0)) (set: $spade to (datamap: "id", "a small spade", "cost", 2000, "damage", 3, "next", $combine)) (set: $gloves to (datamap: "id", "common gardening gloves", "cost", 10, "damage", 1, "next", $spade)) (set: $weapon to $gloves)"shrub." "i've always hated you, shrub." "i'm tired of you shitting pollen in my face everyday, shrub." "like you're king of the fucking forest." "attracting wasps with your flowers." "stabbing me with your branches." "i’m going to chop your ass down, shrub." "and sell you in the city." "...burn in hell, shrub." [[home]]you've been skipping work to hack at shrubbery for $days days. you have $coins home depot gift cards. your health is $hp. (if: $shrub_number < 40)[ only $shrub_number shrubs left to go. ] [[go outside and kick some ass]] [[go to home depot]] [[a still more glorious dawn awaits]](set: $spoils to 0)(display: "fight")(set: $hp to 10)(set: $streak to 0)(set: $days to $days + 1)(display: "home")(set: $next_weapon to $weapon's next)(if: not ($next_weapon is 0))[(set: $nwn to $next_weapon's id) current weapon is (print: $weapon's id), does (print: $weapon's damage) damage [[buy $nwn->buy]] ((print: $next_weapon's cost) home depot gift cards, does (print: $next_weapon's damage) damage)] [[fuck this place->home]]a shrub killed you. good job. [[restart?->init]]the shrub looms eternal. its health is $shrub_hp. [[from hell's heart you spit your last breath at thee shrub->start fight]] [[go back inside or some shit->home]]excellent! (set: $shrub_number to $shrub_number - 1)(if: $shrub_number > 0)[(set: $shrub_hp to 10000) only $shrub_number more to go. [[home]]](else:)[ you win!](if: (either: 0, 1) is 0)[ the shrub scrapes willfully against your flesh. (set: $hp to $hp - (either: 1,2,3)) (if: $hp < 1)[ you are [[dead]]. ](else:)[ your health is $hp. [[fight]] [[go back inside and consider your life->collect spoils]] ] ](else:)[ you hack at the shrub.(set: $streak to $streak + 1)(set: $diddrop to 0)(set: $shrub_hp to $shrub_hp - (($weapon's damage) * $streak)) (if: $shrub_hp < 1)[ the [[shrub is dead]]. ](else:)[ its health is $shrub_hp. your daily streak multiplier is $streak. (if: $diddrop is 0)[(set: $drop to (random: 3,10) * (($weapon's damage) * $streak))(set: $spoils to $spoils + $drop)the shrub dropped $drop stolen home depot gift cards.](else:)[ ] [[fight]] [[go back inside and consider your life->collect spoils]] ] ](set: $coins to $coins + $spoils)(display: "home")(if: $coins >= ($next_weapon's cost))[(set: $weapon to $next_weapon) (set: $coins to $coins - ($weapon's cost))(display: "go to home depot")](else:)[you can't buy without your friend home depot gift cards!(display: "go to home depot")]